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In May, Miss USA Rachel Smith slipped and fell flat on her fanny during the evening gown competition of the Miss Universe pageant.

And in late August, Miss South Carolina Teen USA Lauren Upton responded to a final-round question with an embarrassingly incoherent string of non sequiturs.

Rather than crowns and banners, the bloopers won both women ridicule from late-night comics and places in YouTube.com’s unofficial hall of shame.

Miss Upton has been hit particularly hard by her response to the randomly selected question: “Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S on a world map. Why do you think this is?”

Her live, unrehearsed response was painful to hear and witness: “I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, um, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future.”

Local pageant directors were among those baffled by the going-nowhere-fast answer.

“I was puzzled when she answered the way she did,” said Marilyn E. Kane of Butler, Pa., a former pageant contestant and assistant director of three pageants in Butler County for more than 20 years. “Her mind probably honestly went blank. If she didn’t understand, she should have asked [the emcee] to repeat the question.”

Ms. Kane said it could happen to anybody, a sentiment shared by Jean Bryant, a pageant director who has coached more than 1,800 children and teens over the last 37 years,

“I’m not in the habit of bashing mistakes made by other people,” said Ms. Bryant of Stanton Heights, Pa. “But I was horrified that she could go so far away with such a simple question.”

In later media interviews, the 17-year-old said she was nervous, lost her focus, didn’t understand the question — all understandable.

Such epic blunders in the final round of a major pageant are rare because of the years of intense coaching and practice most contestants go through, which is what made their bloopers so newsworthy. /Toledo Blade

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